Transformers

Ok, so for years I've been hearing people rant about Michael Bay ruining cinema blah blah blah. But plenty of people love his movies, and I figure, what's the problem?

Well, I saw Transformers last week, and I think movies like this are ruining cinema.

I'm kind of pissed that I think that, cause I think it probably means I'm getting old and snobbish at the same time, but I have my reasons.

I think Transformers is going to make squillions of dollars, and sell bucketloads of Hasbro toys. So by industry standards that would make it successful as a movie. Good on it for that- that's exactly what it's designed to do. Few in Hollywood would give the slightest shit about anything else, and from their point of view that's fair enough.

I also have the greatest respect for the fact the Michael Bay has the balls and stamina and gusto and know how to get a movie this massive actually made and as shiny as it is. Its daunting just to think about the physical logistics, let alone the politics and money and vfx and whatever the hell else he had to deal with.

The problem is that the movie is a mess, and because its (probably) going to make lots of money we're probably going to be stuck with a whole lot more in the way of messy movies in the next few years. People will validate/emulate the craft side of this film because it does well at the box office.

The story is thin and full of holes, but that's to be expected. Contrary to the underlying motive of this blog, most people don't go to blockbusters for the story. The problem I had is that the very thing a big action blockbuster is supposed to do well - big action - is just all over the place.

Transformers IS big. Staggeringly big. But: The choreography is totally, utterly confused. The editing is relentless- but not in a kinetic way, in a purely cover- the- fact- that- shots- that- don't- go- together- and- do-it-so-fast-that-nobody-can-catch-their-breath way. Each shot on its own is beatiful, but there's no sense of sequence design, no sense of space, no sense of developing rhythm, no sense of shot-to-shot momentum, no sense of DIRECTION. Its incredibly loud, incredibly fast, and incredibly confused and disorienting. Its like a firehose in the face. You leave the cinema feeling battered and confused. I've worked on my fair share of music vids, I'm used to fast cutting, but this movie gave me chronic cinematic indigestion.

My fear is that it's all that's going to be served up in years to come.

But, people will say, its FUCKING COOL. The thing is, I didn't think so, but even if it was, it could have been soooo much cooler if the action was directed well across sequences and not just within the individual shots. That's a Transformers that would really kick ass.